A Beginner’s Guide to Metal or: How to Fraternize with the Average Hesher

A quick note: This is a constantly expanding piece on my favorite genre of music. Though I am by no means an expert, I just thought I’d have some fun with this as a beginning exercise in (fairly bad) satire. OK, here goes…

Evolving from rock and the blues in the late 60’s/early 70’s, heavy metal began in England (more specifically, Birmingham for many bands) with the advent of pioneers such as Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath and Deep Purple. To cut this piece short of being an all encompassing history of heavy metal, the genre quickly spawned various sub-genres, all of which metalheads listen to in the quest to become the most knowledgeable and varied of their friends in the realm of all that is heavy. These are those sub-genres:

Heavy (or “traditional”) metal:

This is where it all began. The three aforementioned bands are good starting points, along with others such as Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. This sub-genre has an emphasis on twin guitar harmonies and solos, along with cleanly sung lyrics about fantastical tales (in the case of the closely related power metal style), historical events (mostly applied to Iron Maiden) or drugs (every band after Black Sabbath).

Here are a few guidelines and key points to make while discussing traditional metal:

Relating to Iron Maiden, make sure to stress that their earlier work was their best. Example: “Pre-Bruce Dickinson era Iron Maiden was alright, but they really shined when Nicko joined for Piece of Mind. The Number of the Beast? Yeah, it’s good, but Clive Burr’s drumming just can’t hold up.” Never, ever, speak positively about the Blaze Bailey years, or really anything after the 80’s. This will exclude you from any discussions about metal that may follow.

Black Sabbath are known as the true grandfathers of heavy metal. Do not incorrectly state that Led Zeppelin holds this title. They may be referred to as metal by some publications and critics, but they are dead wrong. Zep merely influenced metal; it was Sabbath who made it what it is today. And don’t say that Paranoid is your favorite album. Only noobs (or “n00bs” in nerd lexicon) say that. Go with the self titled instead, and make sure to emphasize the presence of the blues in Tony Iommi’s soloing and how heavy the production is. Oh, and make sure to drop the word “tritone” a few times. They’ll know what you mean.

Make sure to claim that you knew that Rob Halford (frontman for Judas Priest) was gay even before he came out. Also state that it doesn’t bother you in the least and that he actually sounds more badass now that he’s out of the closet.

Thrash metal:

Thrash metal began with the spawn of such bands as Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax and Megadeth, also known as the Big Four among metalheads. It is mostly agreed upon by metalheads as the next logical step after the inception and execution of traditional metal. Most of them ignore the fact that these bands were simply ripping off Diamond Head, but since metal has made a tradition of ripping off older bands, most fans let it slide.

Here are a few guidelines and key points to make while discussing thrash metal:

Old Metallica is much better than anything the band has put out since the 90’s. If you really want respect, mention that Cliff Burton was the best thing about them and that they lost your attention forever after he died (don’t mention you may have been born after 1986). Make sure to point out that Bob Rock destroyed Metallica’s career and that they “sold out majorly” with the Black Album. Never, under any circumstances, claim that the Load and Reload days were anything but utter crap. To really get metalheads going, bash on St. Anger and claim that it was a new low for them because they took out the solos.

German thrash is a dicey realm, as it is widely accepted as the best form of thrash among many so-called “true” metalheads, but can also be a tough subject to read up on. Make sure to do your homework if you dare mention the phrase. In a pinch, rattle off names like Kreator, Destruction and Sodom. If a metalhead decides to test your “mettle” and asks you your favorite German thrash album, Kreator’s Pleasure to Kill album is a solid name to drop.

Death metal:

Considered by some to be heaviest style of metal, death metal has been around in some form or another since the mid 80’s. Acceptable names to drop to prove you’re not a total wuss are Death (essential, more on them soon), Morbid Angel, Cannibal Corpse, Suffocation and Atheist. Though this is just scratching the surface, it will gain you more acceptance than blurting out a foolhardy phrase such as “oh yeah, death metal. I love Slipknot!” ever would. Do not say this. You will lose any knowledgeable metalhead’s respect forever.

Here are a few guidelines and key points to make while discussing death metal:

There is one major issue that picks at the skull of every fan of death metal: who started it in the first place? There are two camps: those who believe that Possessed began the genre by adding growls to the previously mentioned thrash metal genre, and those who believe that Death actually made the genre what it is and that – though they came around a fraction of a second later than Possessed – they actually created the real death metal sound. Relating to Death, make sure to emphasize that Chuck Schuldiner is the godfather (or granddaddy, or One True Creator) of death metal. You will earn an innumerable amount of respect from the metalheads to whom are speaking.

Be literate and knowledgeable on the vast amount of sub-sub-genres of death metal. You may think to yourself “isn’t death metal just death metal?” NO, it is not. Aside from straight death metal (which, coincidentally, hardly any band plays), there is brutal death metal, technical (or progressive death metal), grindcore (which evolved from punk and death metal, mainly in – you guess it! – Birmingham), melodic death metal (and Gothenburg melodic death metal, which makes it a sub-sub-sub-genre) and blackened death metal, just to name the more popular offshoots. For sake of sanity and space, these styles and their appropriate bands cannot be fully explored here, mostly for the simple fact that, like a Republican and a Democrat doing the no pants dance, no one can agree on what goes where.

A final note on death metal: the more blast beats a band uses, the more brutal (or br00tal) said band is. Don’t bother looking up the phrase. Just say it around a group of metalheads and watch them wet themselves with giddiness. On the subject of brutality, make sure to use the word liberally when speaking about death metal, especially if someone drop the name of a band and the others in the group grunt while saying “yeahhhhh, dude!” The louder the grunt, the more brutal the band in question is.

Black metal:

Here is a touchy subject for every metalhead. Black metal separates the men from the boys and, while death metal may be the heaviest of all metal sub-genres, black metal (at least “true” – or “trve/tr00” – black metal) is the least accessible variation on the deceivingly complex metal genre. It is mostly agreed that, like blast beats with death metal, the more obscure a band is, the better (or more “cult” or “kvlt” (seeing a pattern with the Roman letters?)) the band is. To put it succinctly, a band’s kvlt standing among metlaheads is inversely proportional to how many people have heard them. Now you would think, theoretically, that some lonely guy in his parents’ basement could form the kvltest mother-effing band on the planet if only he and his loving mother and father have heard his music. You would be right. Congratulations, you understand black metal!

Just in case the conversation goes deeper than you would like, here are a few guidelines and key points to make while discussing black metal:

Make sure to stress that Venom were only joking when they wrote Black Metal and that it wasn’t until a group of Norwegian teenagers took it seriously and started burning down churches and killing each other that the world finally took notice. And it was awesome.

Though you can completely make up a band and force everyone into pretending they’ve heard of it to hold onto their kvlt points, having some foundational knowledge of black metal is required for conversation about this sub-genre. Names such as Bathory, Immortal, Mayhem, Darkthrone and Burzum should dot your discourse with any metalhead worth his weight in salt. Should the subject of American black metal (USBM) come up, argue that, while Norwegian black metal conquered throughout the 90’s, American black metal takes a fresh look at the style. Make sure to say that it still needs time to evolve, but it does have some acceptable bands such as Leviathan, Xasthur (before they signed with Hydra Head) and Wolves in the Throne Room. These names should provide you sanctuary from most of the ever critical black metal fans.

Doom metal:

Here is one of the many grey areas of the genre. Though Black Sabbath technically invented doom metal (along with metal itself, as previously stated, which spawned doom metal, which was invented by Sabbath as well and…well, you can see the vicious circle we have here), it didn’t become its own genre until other bands began smoking tons of pot and playing guitars in the quest to get as heavy as possible.

Here are a few guidelines and key points to make while discussing doom metal:

Claim that Candlemass’ Epicus Doomicus Metallicus was and is the greatest doom album of all time. If any metalhead argues against this, they will be the ones ostracized from the group. Claiming this is like claiming Public Enemy’s Fear of a Black Planet is the best hip hop album ever made. It’s impossible to argue against, even if it may be wrong.

Make sure to emphasize how “slllooowww” a band is, even if you’ve never heard of them. Much like “brutal” and “kvlt,” a doom band’s worth is weighed by calculating how slow they are. If someone in the group should state that the particular band is, in fact, not that slow, quickly regain their trust by claiming that they “get into some good grooves now and then.” This is doom parlance for “they go above 50 BPM every once in awhile.”

And there you have it! This short guide should help you progress through most basic discussions about metal, though it is far from even being close to even kind of remotely complete. Among others, the following sub-genres may crop up in your discussions: metalcore, folk metal and progressive/power metal. If confronted with questions about these styles, shrug your shoulders and confidently say “yeah, (insert sub-genre here) is alright, but I dig the heavy stuff!”

Meshuggah-obZen

Meshuggah come out swinging on their seventh full length since their formation in Umeå, Sweden two decades ago. The thrashed-out opener “Combustion” harkens back to the quintet’s origins as a much simpler band than the genre bending collective they are today. Independently limbed drum god Tomas Haake is finally back behind the kit after programming the drums for 2005’s Catch 33, and obZen is a stronger album for it. Haake’s ability to lead his band through otherwise jarring time signature shifts is a major strength of the band as a whole, and though “Combustion” is actually the most straightforward song Meshuggah has put to record in years, it is a welcome return to form after the Swedes’ past few releases.

The same goes for the following eight tracks. Each track seems to cull the best moments and ideas from their past albums, with the band mercifully trimming the fat where needed. “Bleed” leads off with a constantly looping double bass pattern, while Fredrik Thordendal and Mårten Hagström abuse their custom eight string Ibanezes until a brief ambient break that straight out of 2004’s 21 minute single track EP, I. The calm doesn’t last for long as Thordendal tears through the silence with a trademark atonal solo. “Lethargica,” too, cuts off halfway through a bouncing, Nothing-esque polyrhythmic jam for even more ambient respite, but this time when the band comes back the riffs are even more crushing than before as they follow Haake’s feet through a climbing and falling pattern that fades away until the titled track appears and introduces what is easily the best coupling of riffs in the entire album, while vocalist Jens Kidman delivers his monotone scream behind the chaos.

Meshuggah’s appeal has always been its ability to mix dizzying time changes and strange tonality with catchy rhythms and occasional, unexpected breaks into straight 4/4 beats. To this extent, the band has succeeded yet again with their seventh full length, but as the album’s compositions duck in and out of varying riffing patterns, the tracks begin to blend together and many of the riffs seem as though they could fit with any of the tracks on the album. Closer “Dancers to a Discordant System” cuts the monotony a bit with nearly 10 minutes of recurring tom fills and an extended jam session in its last three minutes, but it’s tough to shake the feeling that Meshuggah’s idea pool just may be running dry.

Brain Drill-Apocalyptic Feasting

Veteran Cannibal Corpse bassist Alex Webster doesn’t just hand out praise like a kindergarten teacher with gold stars. The guy has forgotten more death metal bands than most people will know about in their entire life. So when the promo for Brain Drill’s debut LP, Apocalyptic Feasting, arrived stamped with a quote from Mr. Webster stating that the California quartet is “truly raising the bar for technicality, velocity, and overall extremity in death metal,” the band clearly had a lot to live up to.

Thankfully, Brain Drill doesn’t disappoint. In the 35 minute run of this album, the barely three-year-old band lays down some of the most devastatingly technical death metal in recent years. It’s no wonder they were signed to Brian Slagel’s Metal Blade Records after just one EP.

After a brief intro recording of a buzz saw cutting into unknown material (bone, perhaps?), the band gets right to business on opener “Gorification.” Maddening guitar leads, solos and myriad wankery speed by in a blur, while underground drum legend “Lord” Marco Pitruzzella gives the death metal scene a lesson in blast beats done right. Gravity blasts, single footers and hyperblasts are just a few of the techniques at the human drum machine’s disposal. And no matter the complexity of the beats, he plays just about everything blisteringly fast. One listen to the album’s tile track is all any faithful DM follower needs to hear to know that Marco and his band are the real deal.

Despite the relative density of Apocalyptic Feasting, the album does have some moments of respite. The fairly simple riff at the beginning of “Revelation” is as melodic as tech death has ever gotten without crossing Gothenburg’s borders. But as promising as the previously mentioned tracks are, the real highlight here is album closer “Sadistic Abductive.” While the entire track is arguably the most complex display of musicianship on the album, the song’s final moments will likely be the most intense 30 seconds of death metal put to disc this year.

Apocalyptic Feasting is a menacing slab of death metal played at 300+ BPM. This album should be a staple of every DM freak’s daily diet of punishing, unrelenting music. Origin, Necrophagist and Hate Eternal better make a move fast before the new kids steal their thunder.

Primordial-To the Nameless Dead

Nationalism and pride are To the Nameless Dead’s central themes. Though these themes are somewhat unique to most metal music, the intensity with which Primordial’s enigmatic frontman, Alan Averill, delivers his lyrics is what truly gives the album its feeling and power. His bellows, screams and, on occasion, croons make To the Nameless Dead’s eight melodic and tightly paced tracks absolutely epic. One needs look no further than opener “Empire Falls” for evidence of Averill’s skill behind the mic, as his smooth transitions from open-throated singing to harsh screaming put most other “metal” vocalists to shame and his delivery makes the eight minute long track seem half that, at most.

The album’s deceiving brevity is perhaps its biggest selling point. At almost 55 minutes in length, the album flies by in what seems like no time at all, an aspect due in no small part to the flawless songwriting. Each track builds to its initial explosion, as guitarists Ciáran MacUiliam and Michael O’Floinn deliver beautifully harmonized riffs so massive they could topple the very monuments Averill sings so passionately about. The tribal drumming that builds “As Rome Burns” is a definite highlight as well, as is the blast beat section that pops in and out of the zenith of the album, “Traitors Gate.”

The band comes full circle, as that lone thrashy track echoes to their humble beginnings as a death metal cover band in their hometown. But, make no mistake, while Primordial have sampled just about every style of metal there is, To the Nameless Dead is their most mature and developed album yet, and it is one of the highest points of what has been a stellar year for heavy music in general. If you have even one ounce of metal appreciation in your body, you absolutely need this record.

Among the Decayed-Dead Rising

So much for presentation: Portland, “Goregon” death metal quintet eschewed the standard slipcase and neat and tidy promo pack and instead sent me a folded up 8” x 11” leaf of printer paper enclosed with a burned CD simply marked “promo.” But what the young newcomers lack in aesthetic value and business sense, they clearly hold their own in sheer speed and vicious musicianship on Dead Rising.

The album – which is also the band’s full length debut – is short and sweet, just barely breaking the half hour mark with its final track, “Immune to Poison,” which was originally recorder by Nunslaughter. But, unlike those Ohioan death thrashers, Among the Decayed take a different approach to their craft by keeping their style strictly new school in the vein of other contemporary death/grind acts such as Pig Destroyer, Leng Tch’e and Dying Fetus. The movie clip intros and sudden assaults of noise from pure quiet of the former two bands and the guttural vocals and deviously thick groove of the latter act comprise most of Among the Decayed’s sound, creating an interesting, if not completely original, style.

While tracks like “Out of Malice” and “Sacrificial War” do nothing new for Among the Decayed’s increasingly populated (and popular) sub genre, the latter half of the album is where the band really stretches its collective legs and gets down to business. The blindingly quick playing on “Evolution” (parts 1 and 2) and “Feardom” belie a subtle creativity that takes more than a few listens to become fully apparent to the listener. The surprisingly clean production helps matter along, though, and while the constantly blasting drums are a little too low in the mix, the shredding guitar and absolutely inhuman vocals of frontman Kevin are more than enough to catch the attention of any death metal aficionado.

Ride the Sky-New Protection

The term “supergroup” has become something of a four letter word in the rock pantheon. And for good reason; beginning with the short-lived (and surprisingly popular) Cream, the term has been applied to many a band that has promised a jaw-dropping combination of all the best aspects of the members’ previous bands, yet most of the sums of these parts have failed to come close to the members’ older output. Comprised of members Helloween, Tears of Anger and Xsavior, Ride the Sky is a newly minted power metal supergroup whose slickly produced debut, New Protection, fails to shake the stereotype.

The album takes off at a steady clip with the title track, an upbeat affair with a synthesized string section backing the souring chorus and melodic guitar work. Catchy riffing abounds in the first half of New Protection, most notably on “Silent War” and “The Prince of Darkness.” The latter track’s eccentric keyboard runs almost make it sound like a lost track from the practice sessions for Dream Theater’s Train of Thought. In fact, many of the tracks throughout New Protection sound like B-sides from the legendary New York prog band, minus much of the pretentiousness and lengthy solos. Granted, this doesn’t keep a few tracks from following the first-pumping power metal formula; “Corroded Dreams” leads in with massive double-bass and some seriously addictive chugga chugga riffing, and the melodramatic vocals of the album’s lone ballad, “The End of Days,” will prompt many a lighter hoist at the band’s Europe-exclusive shows.

With “The End of Days” comes the album’s halfway mark, which, in turn, brings a realization: while New Protection is undeniably “metal,” it is also undeniably underwhelming given the individual members’ credentials. The closing few songs reinforce this, opening similarly to their predecessors and containing very little to distinguish them from one another. This isn’t to say the album is neither listenable nor well-played, but, had it been a younger, less experienced band’s debut, New Protection would be significantly more impressive. As it stands, it is simply a decent release from a collective that could have done much better.

Behold… the Arctopus-Skullgrid

Behold… the Arctopus (henceforth known as BtA) really knows how to build up the hype. After two demos, a promising EP with a downright unruly name (Nano-Nucleonic Cyborg Summoning?) and a split with strange avant-noise duo Orthrelm, the Brooklyn based instrumental tech metal trio has finally released its first full length on the legendary, quarter century old Metal Blade Records. Skullgrid is the perfect cure for those waiting pains, because while the name of the album is more elementary than the band’s previous release, the music therein is infinitely more complex, mature, and (strangely) likeable than anything played on the EP.

Economy is the name of the game on Skullgrid; the album itself clocks in at only 33:33. In this brief time limit, BtA manages to jam together heaps of shred mastery, stop-start Warr guitar (a crazy 12 stringed bass/guitar hybrid played mostly by tapping) runs and skizzo-jazz drumming on every mind-bending track.

And while on the stick work, it is important to note that drummer Charlie Zeleny has come into his own with this album, maybe even a little too much. His lightning quick fills and keen sense of rhythm among the chaos steal him the show over his equally talented bandmates. The end of “Canada,” for example, sounds like something Buddy Rich might have played if he had lived long enough to hang out with the guys in the late 80’s Florida death metal scene. As for the other two members, they and the two guest musicians (Dream Theater keyboardist Jordan Rudess and Mick Barrr, guitarist for the aforementioned Orthrelm) keep up the virtuosity from the album’s first burst of energy to the waning moments of the frenetic finale, “Transient Exuberance.”

Skullgrid is easily the most complex and challenging release of the year, and metal fans and musicians alike should take a listen, if only to be humbled by three guys with more musical prowess than a graduating class at Berklee.

Tharaphita-Iidsetel Sünkjatel Radadel

There’s something in the water in Estonia, and it seems to be infecting the pipes at Nailboard Records’ headquarters. How else can one explain the dozen or so decent to excellent bands of all genres currently signed to one of the coolest success stories in recent heavy music history? (According to the official website, the label sold more than 1,000 copies of its first release in a nation of around 1 million people. No small feat considering that Britney Spears’ best of compilation has only sold around 300 copies.) And better yet, how did this success seem to happen overnight (the label has only been around for about three years now)? Well, for starters, the powers that be at Nailboard have been signing bands like pagan black metallers Tharaphita here, who, in turn, have been crafting excellent albums like Iidsetel Sünkjatel Radadel.

And while the album deviates from previous album Primeval Force’s thrashed out German vibe (think Kreator if they wore corpse paint), it’s all the better for it. Heaps and heaps of melody greet the listener with intro/title track “Iidsetel Sünkjatel Radadel,” evoking a decidedly Thyrfing-esque Viking metal epic feel that settles its longship upon the album’s shores more than a few times. The melody (both electric and acoustic) is exactly what Iidsetel Sünkjatel Radadel’s 2005 precursor needed, and thankfully Tharaphita has delivered on all of this album’s tracks. The German thrash is still there, as are the double kick driven battle hymns like “Vahkturm” and the perfectly placed ballad “Surmatalv,” which acts as a sort of median between the two halves of this short (under 40 minutes!) but nonetheless massive full length.

Though it’s not the best black metal album of the year, Iidsetel Sünkjatel Radadel is guaranteed to sate the wearers of war paint and corpse paint alike. Yet another great album to tack on to Nailboard’s growing list of solid releases.

Taak-Koerapööriöö

Pop quiz: Where is Estonia? Stumped? So was I until I heard the debut album from this outstanding doom outfit and was compelled to look up the exact location of the band’s home country. Along with Tharaphita and numerous other bands of varying genres, Taak seems to be part of a nationwide movement to usurp Sweden’s position on the throne for the “Next Big Thing in Heavy Music.”

The nearly unpronounceable Koerapööriöö (“the night the dogs turn” in the band’s native language) kicks off with the unadulterated riff fest of “Korjusepäev” and continues to bring the heavy until the last notes of the album closer “Poeg on Pätt.” Sandwiched between these two powerful, catchy (and powerfully catchy!) compositions are nine other equally groove laden, Sabbath worshipping numbers. Speaking of Sabbath, both guitarists Kaido “Tsunami” Tiits and Urmas Jõgi seem to be bound to the metal gods’ legendary axeman Tony Iommi at the fingers, echoing not only his simple but effective riffing style, but also his deft fretwork in the numerous solos throughout the album.

If it seems like “riff” has been used to the point of repetition in this review, then one need only to hear the glorious melodies in tracks like “Tähist ja Tolmust” to fully appreciate the power of the almighty riff (last time) coupled with mid-paced double bass drumming and faint but perfectly harmonic keyboard work. Koerapööriöö is easily the best doom album of last year. Doom heads: bask in the glory of the best band you’ve never heard of.

Tharaphita-Primeval Force

Estonia’s Tharaphita aren’t your daddy’s black metal band. Whereas the Norwegian bands of the genre’s first and second generations were either comprised of a couple teens who suddenly decided that Kiss makeup was cool again, or one guy who really loved nature, Tharaphita toss out both the incoherent screams and the harsh, “bees in a tin can” production of the early 90’s scene in favor of a more accessible sound.

Indeed, every instrument on Primeval Force can be heard perfectly, from the somewhat overproduced drum sound (clicky bass drums are a personal pet peeve) to the Dimmu Borgir-esque keyboards that add even more melody to the already catchy riffs. And while we’re on the axe work, it is important to note one unique aspect of Tharaphita’s sound: guitar solos. These little gems are strewn lovingly throughout the album, and while not particularly virtuosic, they work in tandem with the constantly marching double bass to add an occasional 80’s thrash vibe to the album. The album’s book ending tracks “Sorceress” and “Manalateekond” demonstrate the power of even a brief guitar run, where the third and longest track, “Throne of Bones,” builds on a simple guitar riff until it finally breaks out into a mid-paced, fist-pumping double bass-a-thon, complete with a few short solos for good measure.

Epic in many sections and outright brutal in others, 2005’s Primeval Force is a preview of a decade old band hopefully getting their due. While their particular subgenre is tough to classify, Tharaphita are one more band that any fan of melodic metal should add to that long list of mandatory listens.